The sounds of life

This morning I did some journaling and pranayam - nadi sodhana with some retentions.  I felt I needed to soak - that is the only way I can describe it.  I needed to soak in something greater - allow myself to be bathed, every cell of my body soaked - and as I was sitting quietly I began to hear the sounds of nature.  Where we live we are literally bathed in nature day and night and it is so beautiful.  The rhythms of nature are all around - predictable and yet fresh every day at the same time.  And because it is naturally quiet - not many city sounds - the music of nature is always audible, and I especially love it in the morning when things are waking up.   This morning as I became quite aware of those sounds, I realized that right now I am a part of that living and rhythm of life at the same time Dave is going through his process of bit by bit letting go of it.  I can be there for him - but we are becoming, bit by bit, a part of different worlds and in the end this is his process to go through.   And I want to be part of this rhythm of life - so there is a part of me that is now moving toward that and separating.  This is hard, sad, real - what other words there?   I grieve, not just for the loss of our life together,  for the loss of what we had planned on sharing, but also in the realization that this separateness  is now part of our lives and we are both moving in opposite directions.   So that is where it is right now - and as I write to all of you I am very clear that my intention is;   to just have a conversation - I have no conclusions or forced words of wisdom,  I don't want any, there is really nothing to say!    I know that many of you are going through similar things or have been through them. You know-----

Love

Donna