I've been trying to practice the yama of satya while breaking up with my boyfriend of one year. It ain't easy. I find myself trying to remember (based on ahimsa) that if a truth is unpleasant, not to speak it. It's rendering me silent most of the time right now...while he is asking "why? why? why?" over and over again.
We both know it is over. That truth we can both agree on. But the rest of it...well, who's to say what the truth is?
He asks, "Why don't you want to be friends?" "You want the truth?" It's because I find him to be arrogant and annoying. Spending time with him is a frustrating experience that leaves me defensive and closed-off, and I don't want to waste my precious time in such unpleasant company. If that's the truth, it's certainly not pleasant.
But is it the truth that he is "annoying and arrogant?" Maybe it's simply my perspective. My mind can run circles on this all day long.
It's a dicey business, practicing satya in a relationship. Perhaps the key is that satya means not "truth" but rather "Truth." The capital "T" that says it all, a big "Truth" that obliterates the little "me" in a relationship. The "Truth" that is unconcerned with the muck I wade through in murky relationships. The "Truth" that has nothing to do with personal annoyances and differing perspectives. The One Truth that washes all of that away.
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